I am kind of a nihilist when it comes to any kind of festivity. I get it – these particular days mark a significant moment in history, but I feel they have no significance in the present. Moreover, celebrating just one random date in an entire year is not really the best way to pay homage to anything.
Having said that, I don’t get people bashing Valentine’s Day. I don’t find it a lot cheesier than any other festival in general. I feel people just get upset about Valentine’s Day when they don’t like the idea of being single. Some people put forth the argument of it being “against Indian culture” to hide their misery, but culture is defined by the demography of the given place. For now, ours is a country with a very large sexually repressed youth population who have been subjected to hackneyed Romantic Bollywood Movies.
If anything, Valentine’s Day should very much be a part of our culture. It’s like an opportunity to have our own love story and to get some much needed experience with the opposite sex.
This Valentine’s Day, I thought of debunking myths people have about Love and Romance.
Myth # 1: A Successful relationship is one that lasts forever
I always encourage people to pursue their romantic interests (whilst being a sensible functional human-being of course) without worrying about how it might end up. I myself am quite bold and frank when I start developing feelings for someone and my past heartbreaks haven’t deterred my spirit.
We often underestimate how strong and resilient we can be. Maybe the end of a relationship left us shattered but it by no means is a failure. We can like someone again. And each relationship, brief or long, has a lot to teach us.
Specially when it comes to amorous relationships, there’s so much to learn. We learn how our partners can also be our friends, we learn about the kind of ideas they have regarding love and marriage, we learn about how conscious they are of their bodies, we learn to get comfortable having someone else in our personal space. We may even learn things like what kind of people to stay away from, what could be toxic, how much to compromise and where to draw a line. These key life lessons aren’t taught in school. Friendship and kinship bonds can’t emulate them either. We should realise that a relationship didn’t end, rather it was just a short successful relationship.
Myth # 2: Love at first sight
It’s been told many times and I’d like to reiterate – Love at first sight is just your animal instinct taking over, it’s lust and it’s superficial. I’d even go out to say what you feel for your beloved in the initial few months and maybe even the first year is just hormones acting up. You don’t really know them yet. You’d need to really get to know each other and go through some rough patches together to confirm your feelings.
Myth # 3: Love can change people
No one changes for anybody else, when they do, it is due to some intrinsic motivation. If they do change for anyone, it isn’t really a good sign as it means they’d go back to their old ways if the person is no longer there to keep a check. Such a “change” is just namesake.
Many women feel they can reform their boyfriends or husbands (courtesy Bollywood) but one must realise whatever people do, they’re completely convinced there’s nothing wrong with it. You can’t change a deeply rooted mindset. You can only support and guide. Love doesn’t change people, people change themselves.
Myth # 4: Getting involved with someone at your workplace is a bad idea
While it’s not recommended, it’s certainly not the worst idea. Many times the reason people advise against this is considering that people tend to be a lot more immature than they think and people are even more immature when it comes to love and relationships.
As long as it is not specifically prohibited at your workplace, a colleague makes for an excellent partner. Firstly, there’s a lot in common the two of you will have. Secondly, you get to work together on things (often times whilst under a lot of stress) and you can decide there itself if you’re compatible. You’re also forced to be with each other even after fights and misunderstandings. You have to overcome your differences and continue working. It’s like a marriage simulation. It’s not a bad idea if you’re being mature and sensible and choose the right kind of people to be involved with.
Over To You
However you feel about Valentine’s Day, Live and Let Live. If you have a significant other to whom it matters, try to make the day special for them without being loud or over-the-top. If you don’t have a valentine, cherish your singlehood. There’s lots to celebrate in life, other than a relationship status.